An Elephant in Shorts is faster than a computer !!!

I am giving out a big secret here. What happens when you put 348 bright young students (with some level of industry or military experience) in a beautiful setting and then put them through third degree torture!!! Well, something has to give!! And something did!!

Faced with the ignominy of surviving the barrage called Management of Organizations (MO) paper the next day morning, here is what was produced by the fertile minds of the students of the Indian School of Business, Hyderabad, as a last ditch effort to preserve some amount of "culture" for posterity before being wiped out by the MO deluge!!! Alas, as I write it now - we have all been converted to walking zombies who can only "do" but not "think". In fact, I am able to post this blog today because I programmed myself to do so (by "hard wiring") before the process of conversion into a zombie was completed!!!!

As per our records, this stuff was generated over a matter of one hour over email (near midnight before the exam day). Each paragraph represents contribution by one individual student. So, here it goes -

An Elephant in Shorts having values of our forefathers thinks faster than a computer

I pray the Lord, your soul to keep...
Before you say, "Therefore, that kind of part"
Our forefathers have warned us not to fart...
Rudyard Kipling's jungle book might be good
but an elephant in shorts is misunderstood....

beware of the bounded rationality
in essence it is a situational pity
the subject is maybe essential for us to be the best
but I doubt what stuff can a written exam test

Oh, we can write ‘bout Erikson, write ‘bout Knight,
Whatever we write will show our plight.
I have already lost all my capability building,
Having seen today India’s slip fielding.

May we be ‘rational’ in our ‘decision making’
And ‘purposeful’ in our ‘learning’.
Guide us through the ‘matrix’ of these
‘organizations’ away from the ‘garbage can’.

I see myself enter the world of self efficacy, energy and focus
And that which has nothing to do with abracadabra…hogus bogus…
Tomorrow we shall all truly see the pen mightier than the sword
And ofcourse the guys hanging out with muzaffar shall reap the reward…

The part here is to be organized and effective…
But what do u do if your leader is defective…
Therefore look here…the part is to know…
Who all sit next to you in the row…

The 7 S are nothing but the 7seas,
Or nothing but a snow forming model of Maccc in C
Hear the quiet sound of MO / OM or whatever….
The interest in the subject is like a trickle in a dried up river

Therefore, I say, this part is true
Organizations have behaviour too!
Kind of, my point of view,
But would you ever use the term ‘garbage can’ in your placement interview?

Strategy, structure and systems don’t matter’
And nor matter the other four;
To crack this bhoolbhulaiya
You must write “THEREFORE”

The informal culture is truly evolving
Don’t change the design lest you find us all dangling
Tomorrow shall tell how many Kane’s shall survive
The power of intuition is what paramount pictures had in mind

Came back from the LRC bowed and defeated
All my focus and engergy depleted
By the power vested in me, I hereby decree
The PROBLEMISTIC search of MO SATISFICINGLY completed

If we are to see the larger canvas of organization structure..
You see just a murky picture
Hinging on personal charisma and founders cultures
Most organizations of today have awaiting a pack of hungry vultures

To this “team effort” I‘d like to contribute,
Humbled as I am by this team attribute,
Group composition or task design, I wonder,
One or the other is bound to be a blunder!

To this inquiry I want to respond
The group composition is like an unknown bond
The task design, essentially a means to shirk MO reading
Does this simple concept need more spoon feeding?

Therefore we must understand this mess
About matrices and divisions and yet another ‘S’
The one that stands for Spam this nite…
Its past midnight…and the end’s nowhere in sight!

But my dear, you miss the essence,
I suggest you look for congruence,
For your strategy and your culture must meet,
Else a history of failure shall repeat!

Economics OM and now MO, The grades only increase acidity and develop tumor
Along came the chairman of BP to solve all problems,
Worry not my friend, to get a job at BP you just need integrity, enthusiasm and humor

Oh come on do not of the vultures be afraid,
Remember, gillette spent 750 million to make Mach3 blade,
So gear up and Move On to take a crac,
Give the exam , you have spend 15 lac

Quad, LRC, atrium and café, all I have tried,
The roadblocks I am hitting are now hurting my pride,
Junta contributing to this cause, please go on and on,
‘cause my grade in this paper is all but foregone,
Please keep me entertained for some more time,
If its not too inconvenient, preferably till half past nine.

Alas, ‘tis upon thee to fathom
The murkiness of thy subject
And undertand that like The Garbage Can Model
That’s where ‘tis all belongs – The Garbage Can

All through the day I flipped the pages
And now feel that I have done this for ages
Cud not get thru the sufficing and the garbage can
Now have lost confidence that get the grade I ever can

the weather, the Rajasthani dinner brought in lethargy,
after a nap, I find myself to read a lot including Carnegie,
To pass, I neither have energy or hope,
I commit, in the final exam my grade will cope

When you say Spam ….. I must say Yesss
But Hey! Chuck MO ... and give it a miss
Nights like these ….. are decidedly bliss
In a world … where all else is amiss

Hold your guns, MO’ll be your savior out in the big bad world
Call it Carnegie Model,
If all you’ve done is have Fun
Call it Management Science,
If no one understands the numbers you’ve crunched
Call it Garbage Can
when you don’t know what’s going on….
Have no fear and blame it on MO, when all else is blurred

Admire the art of framing a railway journey or Big Mac in a 4*4 matrix…
Art of adapting electrical diagrams to interpret decisions incrementally
I had heard of building bridges across seven seas, but a ladder was new to me…
O lord give me the efficacy , focus and energy to live through the learning s of OB..

Therefore, there was once this kind of prof.
Whose expansive vocabulary made his students scoff.
The kind of part that he was always saying
Of his future intentions was betraying,
Because, tomorrow, he will have the last laugh!

Quite certainly no genius uncle can explain
Myriad, miscellaneous matrices two by two
Therefore it is our kind of part to complain
As we crash and crumble in this ballyhoo

Oh! great one, Look at these poor souls
They know not, the oasis of grade goals
What is life? Is it worth this strife?
Grant them light, end their plight!

OB or not OB,
That is the question,
For if this chain is finished,
How to last till the morning, does anyone have a suggestion?

Hark, as the great bards of ISB cry
Now to make sense, to question why:
We had months of IBM, Jollibee and Intel,
Must we pay 15 lacs, and learn this crap as well?

For to do one, may possible remotely be
But to have to do both, you must agree
Is nothing short of an attack on the sovereignty
Of India, the World, heck - the whole of humanity

There is one ring to rule them all,
The ‘O’ in MO…
One Ring to find them all,
And therefore for that part bind them in the ring of Spam…

Oh dear Lord…its an epidemic…what shall I prescribe?
Maybe with “shock therapy” they may all survive
With treatment ...they may all start studying their best
May I remind everyone …its an MO exam…and Not a Urine Test !!!

Kat jaati hai raahtein “kitabein“ dekhkar,
Laut jaati hai “GRADE“ hamara naam dekhkar,
Koh na jaayein haam apne gum mein,
“MO”, Tu toh kandha dede mere “HOPE“ko,

In both the tests the aim is to pass
As soon as you can and without a farce
And hence I as to the pervious limerick with reference
Hey doc what’s the bloody difference?

We might have lost our woodies, but the good doc’s lost more, Sweet simple ailments, the urine tests of yore!
Oh what ails ISB, had he known before,
Would’nt have left the urine, would’ve stopped for more!

Looking at orgs and going for their blood
Never realized that Golcondo’s submerged in the AP flood!
So get out of this circle of vicious cvulture
Auto’s waiting, hop into Golcondo culture!!

Back I am from LRC
Flooded mailbox! do I see?
“MO” renders people crazy
To add more lines i'm lazy!

After a lot of introspection and giving MO quite a fight... I have been forced to conclude that even if i give this thingie a whole night....
Still tomorrow i won;t have much to write....
So bid you all a deserving good night...!

To that one person who took me off the list,
you better be hiding or you'll say hello to my fist,
But I'm proud of all you other talented folks,
you kept this going, despite that crazy bloke.

It is sad to miss the bus…
Given that I went to sleep by dus…
For non-participants who say Arey Yaar Bas…
My Answer Chodo Bhi Yaar, Why Make a Fus…

Write I do, in the aftermath
Of a battle gory that MOwed me down, caught unprepared
Oh, I lay buried, do grant me an epitaph
With words chiseled – “Here is one who kind of played his part; to plant the flag on Mount ‘Grade B’ he dared”

When ‘that kind of part’ met ‘this kind of part’
All my ‘capabilities’ fell apart
And therefore, from that point of view
An elephant wearing shorts is nothing new.