An Elephant in Shorts is faster than a computer !!!

I am giving out a big secret here. What happens when you put 348 bright young students (with some level of industry or military experience) in a beautiful setting and then put them through third degree torture!!! Well, something has to give!! And something did!!

Faced with the ignominy of surviving the barrage called Management of Organizations (MO) paper the next day morning, here is what was produced by the fertile minds of the students of the Indian School of Business, Hyderabad, as a last ditch effort to preserve some amount of "culture" for posterity before being wiped out by the MO deluge!!! Alas, as I write it now - we have all been converted to walking zombies who can only "do" but not "think". In fact, I am able to post this blog today because I programmed myself to do so (by "hard wiring") before the process of conversion into a zombie was completed!!!!

As per our records, this stuff was generated over a matter of one hour over email (near midnight before the exam day). Each paragraph represents contribution by one individual student. So, here it goes -

An Elephant in Shorts having values of our forefathers thinks faster than a computer

I pray the Lord, your soul to keep...
Before you say, "Therefore, that kind of part"
Our forefathers have warned us not to fart...
Rudyard Kipling's jungle book might be good
but an elephant in shorts is misunderstood....

beware of the bounded rationality
in essence it is a situational pity
the subject is maybe essential for us to be the best
but I doubt what stuff can a written exam test

Oh, we can write ‘bout Erikson, write ‘bout Knight,
Whatever we write will show our plight.
I have already lost all my capability building,
Having seen today India’s slip fielding.

May we be ‘rational’ in our ‘decision making’
And ‘purposeful’ in our ‘learning’.
Guide us through the ‘matrix’ of these
‘organizations’ away from the ‘garbage can’.

I see myself enter the world of self efficacy, energy and focus
And that which has nothing to do with abracadabra…hogus bogus…
Tomorrow we shall all truly see the pen mightier than the sword
And ofcourse the guys hanging out with muzaffar shall reap the reward…

The part here is to be organized and effective…
But what do u do if your leader is defective…
Therefore look here…the part is to know…
Who all sit next to you in the row…

The 7 S are nothing but the 7seas,
Or nothing but a snow forming model of Maccc in C
Hear the quiet sound of MO / OM or whatever….
The interest in the subject is like a trickle in a dried up river

Therefore, I say, this part is true
Organizations have behaviour too!
Kind of, my point of view,
But would you ever use the term ‘garbage can’ in your placement interview?

Strategy, structure and systems don’t matter’
And nor matter the other four;
To crack this bhoolbhulaiya
You must write “THEREFORE”

The informal culture is truly evolving
Don’t change the design lest you find us all dangling
Tomorrow shall tell how many Kane’s shall survive
The power of intuition is what paramount pictures had in mind

Came back from the LRC bowed and defeated
All my focus and engergy depleted
By the power vested in me, I hereby decree
The PROBLEMISTIC search of MO SATISFICINGLY completed

If we are to see the larger canvas of organization structure..
You see just a murky picture
Hinging on personal charisma and founders cultures
Most organizations of today have awaiting a pack of hungry vultures

To this “team effort” I‘d like to contribute,
Humbled as I am by this team attribute,
Group composition or task design, I wonder,
One or the other is bound to be a blunder!

To this inquiry I want to respond
The group composition is like an unknown bond
The task design, essentially a means to shirk MO reading
Does this simple concept need more spoon feeding?

Therefore we must understand this mess
About matrices and divisions and yet another ‘S’
The one that stands for Spam this nite…
Its past midnight…and the end’s nowhere in sight!

But my dear, you miss the essence,
I suggest you look for congruence,
For your strategy and your culture must meet,
Else a history of failure shall repeat!

Economics OM and now MO, The grades only increase acidity and develop tumor
Along came the chairman of BP to solve all problems,
Worry not my friend, to get a job at BP you just need integrity, enthusiasm and humor

Oh come on do not of the vultures be afraid,
Remember, gillette spent 750 million to make Mach3 blade,
So gear up and Move On to take a crac,
Give the exam , you have spend 15 lac

Quad, LRC, atrium and café, all I have tried,
The roadblocks I am hitting are now hurting my pride,
Junta contributing to this cause, please go on and on,
‘cause my grade in this paper is all but foregone,
Please keep me entertained for some more time,
If its not too inconvenient, preferably till half past nine.

Alas, ‘tis upon thee to fathom
The murkiness of thy subject
And undertand that like The Garbage Can Model
That’s where ‘tis all belongs – The Garbage Can

All through the day I flipped the pages
And now feel that I have done this for ages
Cud not get thru the sufficing and the garbage can
Now have lost confidence that get the grade I ever can

the weather, the Rajasthani dinner brought in lethargy,
after a nap, I find myself to read a lot including Carnegie,
To pass, I neither have energy or hope,
I commit, in the final exam my grade will cope

When you say Spam ….. I must say Yesss
But Hey! Chuck MO ... and give it a miss
Nights like these ….. are decidedly bliss
In a world … where all else is amiss

Hold your guns, MO’ll be your savior out in the big bad world
Call it Carnegie Model,
If all you’ve done is have Fun
Call it Management Science,
If no one understands the numbers you’ve crunched
Call it Garbage Can
when you don’t know what’s going on….
Have no fear and blame it on MO, when all else is blurred

Admire the art of framing a railway journey or Big Mac in a 4*4 matrix…
Art of adapting electrical diagrams to interpret decisions incrementally
I had heard of building bridges across seven seas, but a ladder was new to me…
O lord give me the efficacy , focus and energy to live through the learning s of OB..

Therefore, there was once this kind of prof.
Whose expansive vocabulary made his students scoff.
The kind of part that he was always saying
Of his future intentions was betraying,
Because, tomorrow, he will have the last laugh!

Quite certainly no genius uncle can explain
Myriad, miscellaneous matrices two by two
Therefore it is our kind of part to complain
As we crash and crumble in this ballyhoo

Oh! great one, Look at these poor souls
They know not, the oasis of grade goals
What is life? Is it worth this strife?
Grant them light, end their plight!

OB or not OB,
That is the question,
For if this chain is finished,
How to last till the morning, does anyone have a suggestion?

Hark, as the great bards of ISB cry
Now to make sense, to question why:
We had months of IBM, Jollibee and Intel,
Must we pay 15 lacs, and learn this crap as well?

For to do one, may possible remotely be
But to have to do both, you must agree
Is nothing short of an attack on the sovereignty
Of India, the World, heck - the whole of humanity

There is one ring to rule them all,
The ‘O’ in MO…
One Ring to find them all,
And therefore for that part bind them in the ring of Spam…

Oh dear Lord…its an epidemic…what shall I prescribe?
Maybe with “shock therapy” they may all survive
With treatment ...they may all start studying their best
May I remind everyone …its an MO exam…and Not a Urine Test !!!

Kat jaati hai raahtein “kitabein“ dekhkar,
Laut jaati hai “GRADE“ hamara naam dekhkar,
Koh na jaayein haam apne gum mein,
“MO”, Tu toh kandha dede mere “HOPE“ko,

In both the tests the aim is to pass
As soon as you can and without a farce
And hence I as to the pervious limerick with reference
Hey doc what’s the bloody difference?

We might have lost our woodies, but the good doc’s lost more, Sweet simple ailments, the urine tests of yore!
Oh what ails ISB, had he known before,
Would’nt have left the urine, would’ve stopped for more!

Looking at orgs and going for their blood
Never realized that Golcondo’s submerged in the AP flood!
So get out of this circle of vicious cvulture
Auto’s waiting, hop into Golcondo culture!!

Back I am from LRC
Flooded mailbox! do I see?
“MO” renders people crazy
To add more lines i'm lazy!

After a lot of introspection and giving MO quite a fight... I have been forced to conclude that even if i give this thingie a whole night....
Still tomorrow i won;t have much to write....
So bid you all a deserving good night...!

To that one person who took me off the list,
you better be hiding or you'll say hello to my fist,
But I'm proud of all you other talented folks,
you kept this going, despite that crazy bloke.

It is sad to miss the bus…
Given that I went to sleep by dus…
For non-participants who say Arey Yaar Bas…
My Answer Chodo Bhi Yaar, Why Make a Fus…

Write I do, in the aftermath
Of a battle gory that MOwed me down, caught unprepared
Oh, I lay buried, do grant me an epitaph
With words chiseled – “Here is one who kind of played his part; to plant the flag on Mount ‘Grade B’ he dared”

When ‘that kind of part’ met ‘this kind of part’
All my ‘capabilities’ fell apart
And therefore, from that point of view
An elephant wearing shorts is nothing new.

Economics and I

Economics and I:

Can’t say we are “one for all & all for one” but yes, we do manage.

A busy Sunday indeed! Had an assignment to submit – some patchy write up on Current scenarios of Indian IT industry – threats & opportunities and why they should go towards “moving up” the value chain and blah blah blah … Well, submitted something.

Then we were supposed to attend two lectures by Dr. C Rangarajan on Macroeconomics & Policy Instruments (4 hours on a Sunday!!!). Was mentally ready for some heavy dose of eco but not this heavy !!! But, overall I liked the lecture. Doc is a great speaker and obviously knows what he is talking about.

Something about him – for those who don’t know who I am talking about (probably the innocent majority!!!). So, here it goes. Dr. Rangarajan is a PhD in economics from Wharton Business School. He was then involved with IIMA as faculty for quite some time before he was appointed by the P V Narsimha Rao government as the RBI Governor in 1992 – at the peak of the economic reforms (so, here was a man who had seen it all and done it all). Subsequently, he held numerous posts including the Governor of Andhra Pradesh, Chairman of the Finance Commission & finally he was appointed the Chief Economic Advisor to the Prime Minister (no wonder he teaches on Sundays!!!!).

So, now back to the sessions. The sessions were primarily to discuss Policy interventions – the basic questions being the Why & the How. For the layman, Policy interventions are instruments to change the behaviour of the economy. By behaviour I mean, the direction of growth of the economy.

There are basically three issues that any government is bothered about (or should be bothered about!!). They are – the level of output (or growth in output), employment & inflation. By level of output, we basically refer to something called as business cycles. In brief, business cycles are periods of growth & stagnation in any economy. Any policy making authority of a country is bothered about both the absolute growth of the economy & the stability of the growth. Governments of developing economies are more concerned about growth than stability while it is the reverse for developed economies. In terms of employment, the government is concerned about whether the growth in the economy is creating an equivalent number of jobs or not. Inflation is I guess fairly clear to all – the rapid increase in price levels in the economy.

Dr. Rangarajan attempted to discuss the need to study Macroeconomics (deals with groups) – especially since we also study Microeconomics (deals with individuals). He expressed it as something called as: “Fallacy of composition”. It is defined as – “what is true of an individual need not be true for the aggregate”. I will attempt to explain in simple terms. If you are standing as a part of a crowd, none of you can see clearly ahead (as every body’s vision is equally blocked). However, if you decide to stand on a chair, you will obviously be able to see well. Now, if everybody decides to emulate you (copy you) then will everybody be able to see better? Obviously no!! Because now you all are again equally handicapped!!! So, what was good for one (you alone) is no good when considering the aggregate.

He then went on to discuss the differences between the Socialist & Capitalist systems & the tradeoffs. I will not go into those details here. The conclusion is something that bothers most people though and so I will touch upon that. Dr. Rangarajan suggested that (& I tend to agree) in the early stages of the economy, it is required to meet the basic needs of the people (roti, kapda aur makan !!!!) and so the central planner knows enough about the economy and so the socialist system works well. However, when the basic needs are already satisfied, higher needs assume importance (aka Maslow’s hierarchy – in case you don’t know – wait, I will cover it some other time) and now it is a matter of choice. For eg., which kind of car to produce or which shade of red to produce? These decisions are any day made more efficiently by the market. This was the primary reason why the Soviet economy could no longer be sustained on central planning. In fact, the Indian system of a Mixed economy is the most popular form of economy in the world. Even the US is not entirely capitalistic & the government plays a major role as a spender (consumer).

However, what should be whose role is obviously a subject of debate. People often wonder as to why can’t economists ever concur. Dr. Rangarajan had a simple answer. He said that if you put five economists together, you will end up with six views on the same issue. The sixth came because one of them decided to revise his view point!!!

We went on to discuss the various theories that make up modern economics book of knowledge – primarily the Keynesian view & the Classical view. An interesting read is the “Marginal propensity to consumption” & its impact on the economy – through its multiplier effect. The marginal propensity represents the proportion of our increased income that we decide to consume!!! Say, your salary goes up by 100 Rs and your marginal propensity to consumption is 80%. So, you save 20 & consume 80. This 80 is actually somebody’s income & suppose he too consumes 80% of it (64 Rs). This in turn goes to the next person who too consumes 80% of his income & so on. We see that this is actually a decreasing geometric progression and results in overall increase in wealth of the economy (far greater than the initial 100). The assumption is that the actual production level of the economy also went up by the exact amount – or else the 100 would only be the saving. Ok. For those who didn’t follow a word – your increased income becomes somebody else’s income when you spend it and somebody else’s when he / she spends it and so on. This is the multiplier effect.

Keynesian’s used to believe that government policies should be ensure that its actions result in something opposite to that happening in the economy – counter cyclical steps. When the economy is growing rapidly, reduce govt. expenditure & when economy is stagnating, increase govt. expenditure. This is something that we have seen countless number of times in India. Of course, it doesn’t work. It is only tax payer’s money down the drain.

The other option with the government is to increase the money supply. This it does by reducing the interest rates for the banks. If money supply goes up, availability of money for borrowing goes up and so interest rates, which are the cost of borrowing, have to go down. This is bound to increase investments by companies & thus increase the total output level of the economy & thus stimulate growth. How ever, all these ideas hold truw only if the economy is not expecting the govt. to reduce interest rates or it will have already factored it in!! This is referred to as the “Theory of Rational expectation”.

He then went on to discuss the major roles of the government in an economy. They are – producer of marketable goods (commanding heights of the economy), a regulator & a provider of public goods / merit goods. The first role (existing in India) is on the wane while the other two will always remain. Govt. regulation is required in industries where the failure of one institution can affect many others (eg. Bank). While, merit goods are marketable goods where the social benefit is more than the private benefit (eg. Schools). The modern view is that where ever markets can do better, they should be left alone to do so. The government’s ultimate role is to ensure that a competitive environment is maintained in the economy – by means of legislations & proactive measures (eg. Anti – trust legislations).

In short – more market does not mean less government. It means a better government in a market complementary role.

Another important discussion that he had was on “money”. The fundamental question is – what is money? Money is a medium of exchange & storage of value. Something can serve as a medium for exchange only if it is scarce – for eg. Gold. If it is freely available, then anybody can easily make it and use it (& its value would drop to zero).

Doc spoke about a doctor as an example of the role of money. A doctor had successfully treated a lady. When she got well, she went to him to thank him and was at a loss of words to do so. She kept saying she didn’t know how to thank him. The doctor replied curtly – “Your problem was solved the day money was invented”!! For those who didn’t get the joke – don’t worry!!!

He then went on to discuss the elements of the monetary policy. In between he paused to define the differences between recession (the opposite of inflation) & depression (acute & chronic recession). As usual, he had an easy way of defining it. He said that – “if your neighbor is unemployed then we are probably going through a recession and if you are unemployed then we are definitely doing through a depression”. So much for economics definitions!!

That’s all for today I guess. I will discuss the monetary policy & functions of the Central Bank in greater detail in the next entry. Before I sign out though, I will leave you all with a basic definition of the role of the RBI Governor. The predecessor to Dr. Rangarajan (I distinctly don’t remember his name) was once traveling by train to some where & he had a particularly nosy person sitting close by. This man kept on pestering him with questions on who he was & what he did for a living, etc etc. This governor obviously did not want to disclose as to who he really was and so gave the following simple answer – “I am a writer. I write a short note & then sign it. It is widely circulated in the whole of India”.

So, with that note I bid good night.

Here I am

Here I am:

I guess that’s a song that all of us have heard a lot of times (at least I have !!!). Sat today wondering whether I can make any sense out of this song for myself – I have this weird feeling that everything around me has relevance for me!!!!

Yes, here I am – an MBA student at the most vilely created B-school in the world (ISB - the setting is beautiful as they say – but wait till you start doing the assignments, and the cases and the exams and the horrendous looking grades too!!!). Yes, I am here because I was wild and free – had this stupid notion that I know precisely what I want to do in life and that I must go to the best place in India and blah blah blah ….. So, yes – here I am because I was so wild and free …

So, here I am – so young and strong … right in the place where I belong – I guess I deserved every bit of my life … be it my work place (where I was screwed every day or while in college …. Because I was the only one who believed I was great – my teachers believed other wise – I have a bad feeling that they were right) ….

But yes – it is a new world and a new day ….. Each one being different from the other – one can have a happy and satisfying life if one treats each day as a new day – independent of the ones before it. It is indeed a new world suitable for the “beating of a young heart”.

It is a new day in a young land and it is waiting for me – I know all of you must be thinking – there he goes again. Optimism at the highest and stupidest level. But, I don’t mind – in fact those who mind being laughed at because of their dreams are the ones who crib about being a failure in life.

Doesn’t it always come as a surprise that the most often given advice is to be practical; to be rational and with your feet on the ground? Come to think of it, the last time somebody asked me dream was in 5th standard (I still recall it was Sister Hema – my class teacher)!! It is a different thing that I did not go on to become what I dreamt then (wanted to be a fighter pilot – probably thanks to the TV serials being aired then!!!!). But the bigger question is – why does everybody ask us not to dream but to be rational and practical. Come to think of it – is it rational not to dream? How does one get to know what is practically achievable for him or her without trying it out?

I remember my last trip to heaven (ok – I am exaggerating!!) – but it was pretty close – I was standing on top of a 13550 ft peak in the Garhwal Himalayas (so what if it was a minnow in front of Mt. Kailash or Mt. Everest!!!). Before the start of the trek, our leader – Ms. Bachendri Pal – gave a lot of talk (they all do!!!) – said something like: “the human body has only one limit – the one set by your mind.” We all heard – really heard!! Ok .. ok – I know what it means – we all dozed off !!! (except when we took those snaps – the ones with her – that we could show to the others just to show that we were there with her!!!). A week later at 13550 ft, we realized that we were lucky that we heard her. Of a group of some 70 or so people, only a handful of us made it to the top. I was there too … with crepe bandages on both my knees – but still there.

Recently we met Captain Raghu Raman (in his famous lecture – “leadership lessons from Siachen”). Ms Bachendri Pal’s words came back to haunt me – a man is what he chooses to be. How does one know whether a man is a good man or a bad man? Just because he respects his elders, has a successful career and has never molested a woman? Or is it because he never got a chance to do so or was too scared to do so? An old saying goes - A man’s real test comes in the dark – when he knows that there is no fear in doing it and still decides not to. A man is what he chooses to – more specifically, a man is a summation of his / her choices. And that is precisely where dreams come in.

When we dream, we are only looking at possible pathways that we can take in our life. Whether we allow it to remain just a dream or work towards it is our choice. More often than not we do what is “best” for us – but best by whose standards – the society or our parents or our friends. Who are they to decide what is best for us? They can at best be our guide but the ultimate decision has to be your own. You will finally become what you choose to be. How many of us have come across engineers & doctors who crib daily about the work pressures and how they dislike their jobs? I guess a few haven’t!! Why this unhappiness? I believe it is simply because we have been allowing others to decide for us. We need to take our lives into our own hands and then choose to do what we really want to do in life.

Setting the ultimate level of our life is something that we ought to do. What is the highest that we aspire to achieve? That is what our dreams are all about. So, dream away to glory but do not let dreams be your master. And once decided, choose to be guided by it. But ya – be ready to face the consequences too – just like I am (what with all the assignments and exams and arbit CPs and awful grades ….)!!!!

After all – life is but a summation of our choices. Make your choice right now (and yes – hear the song!!!!!).